I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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