Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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