I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
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