the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Randomize
