operation harelip BJ is a go
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Randomize
