We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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