theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
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