I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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