so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Randomize
