We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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