About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
