can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
