Kareoke will never be a sober sport
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
