just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Randomize
