I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
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