toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
My room smells like vodka and shame
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
