i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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