I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
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