Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Randomize
