Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
