So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
