I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
