my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
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