their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
