Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
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