capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
