i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
