if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
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