If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
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