I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
