Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
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