Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Randomize
