sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
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