The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
