I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
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