I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
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