Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
This is my gift to your gina
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
