I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
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