I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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