So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
