Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
