she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
as a side note pls kill me
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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