Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
