I am midnight drunk by noon
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
