..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Randomize
