I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
