Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
