"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Randomize
