Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Randomize
