3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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