Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Randomize
