I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
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