Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Randomize
