He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
The air was thick with penises
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
